User blog:Magma-Man/Christmas Present 2013
Merry Christmas everyone! The entirety of Act 1. It may be easier to digest this way instead of taking the whole blog upon release. Disclaimer The purpose of this blog is satirical, and for me to go on a power trip. The only one where the insults are malicious in nature is Daniel Smith, but you could see it as a repayment for all the insults he has given me, the Call of Duty wiki, and you most likely if you are reading. There is still nothing wrong with bronyism. PS4 Features of Awesome! The PS4 version of the game features radio chatter playing through the controller speaker instead! W00t! Also you can optionally lean by tilting the controller thanks to the motion controls. Touch pad has the same functionality of the d-pad, take your pick for what would be more comfortable. Previously on Call of Wikia *Ducks go "quack" *Cows go "moo" *Smuff goes "Yay ponies" *Battlefield fanboys say "lol" *Daniel Smith says "I'm an ass" *I go on an ego trip. Campaign There are four difficulties for the campaign: *n00b - Enemies will fall before your unstoppable might! *Normal - A good, solid challenge. *Hard - Some skill is needed to survive with limited ammo and more plentiful enemies! *ULTIMATE SWAG - U R NOT RDY 4 DIS Also just like Call of Wikia 2, the campaign has co-op, however it's only for two players this time. Magma-Man is always player one, so he won't be listed. The other character can be played in single-player but only after beating the level once. Chapter 1 - The End Begins *Player 2: Sgt. S.S. *Location: Call of Duty Wiki Player 1, Magma-Man, starts in the War Room, a small, dark, secluded room where the leaders of the Call of Duty Wiki talk about stuff. Player 2, starts out not far outside. "Where's Callofduty4?" Damac asks. Crazysam responds, "Don't know, don't care. What's important is that intel reports that Daniel plans on sending in another attack wave in a couple of days. The escape train," "Scooter." "Whatever, is finally prepped, and is set to leave an hour after a breach in security accurs. Or at least I think it's ready." MLGisnot4Me and AndImBatman then chime in via radio. "Well so far, his attempts to attack us have been pathetic." "This job is so easy it's boring." Crazysam then speaks again, "Never the less, we need to excersise caution, there are hundreds of Wikian lives at stake here." A large rumble is heard, and the ground shakes for both Magma-Man and Sgt. S.S. "Okay, what was that?" Magma-Man asks. "Someone is going to have to find out. We will decide on who the professional way, we will draw straws!" Sgt. S.S. meanwhile tries to contact AndImBatman and MLGisnot4Me. "What's happened over there?" AndImBatman yells out in a damaged transmission. "Something is getting through, sound the alarm, it's not Smith's army! I'll try to hold them off-ack!" Demented and high pitched laughter is then shortly heard before the sound is cut off. Sgt. S.S. runs to the War Room, while Magma-Man gets the short straw. Sgt. S.S. starts to see chaos off in the distance, while Magma-Man opens the door and is greated by Callofduty4. "Where were y-" Callofduty4 grabs Magma-Man and slams him up against the wall, breathing heavily. "They aren't gone yet, they're back, he... he... he..." Callofduty4 chokes out. "What? Who?" Magma-Man stammers, but then Callofduty4's face starts peels away revealing pink, plastic skin. "Bronyism will rise again. Nothing will stop us...!" Callofduty4 then raises a hove to bash in Magma-Man's helmet, but Sgt. S.S. (Player 2) comes in right in time to shoot Callofduty4 in the head. "Call of Duty Wiki has been breached, we've got to get out of here!" The Sarge yells as he throws Magma-Man's DMR to him. "Now! Scooter the train leaves in one hour!" An hour time limit is started as the players move out through the Call of Duty Wiki. They are first greeted by three Call of Duty Wikians, Snipergod, Conquerer of all Zombies, and Raven's Wing. They turn around and try to shoot a large, fat pink pony like creature that waddles toward them with sharp knive-like arms. They hit the belly of the creature, only to cause it to fall over and release hundreds of mini-plastic ponies that then envelop the three, turning them into classic bronies, looking like the ponys from the show and having attack patterns similar to basic flood combat forms, these are the first three enemies of the game. "Don't shoot those things in the stomach!" Moving on the players also encounter another type of brony, with four extra arms spontaneously sprouted out of it's back which it uses to cling to and move along walls while spitting acid at the players. "What the heck happened to these things?" After fighting through the bronies for about ten minutes, two panzer soldats land in front of the players as Nazi Zombies start to spawn. "Aha! I, Daniel Smith, your glorious ruler, have finally breached the Call of Duty Wiki!" Daniel Speaks using a mini blimp with his avatar plastered over it on a screen. "And now Mags, you will die- what the fuck is that?" Daniel then lets out a high pitched shriek as a brony jumps onto his blimp and destroys it. Magma-Man and Sarge continue towards the escape train after dealing with the Panzer Soldats, and when they get there they find a massive amount of Brony infector forms behind them. They desperately run to catch the train as it leaves, but while Magma-Man gets on the back, joined by Redskin-26, Sarge stays back to fight, sacrificing himself to the brony hordes. Chapter 2 - In Transit *Player 2: Redskin-26 *Location: Scooter the Train *Music: Continuation of previous chapter's Magma-Man and Redskin take out there weapons and go inside the train. It's automated but is going to need a driver thanks to the robotic forces of Daniel's army constantly assaulting it. The mission is one of the shortest of the game. Magma-Man and Redskin fight there way from the back to the front in the small cramped train, fighting the Nazi Zombie infestation inside and flying Wiki Warbots staying next to or attaching themselves to the outside of the train. Daniel continuously yells and berates the players throughout the mission. Magma-Man and Redskin get to the front, only to realize they weren't the only ones who got on. The door to the front is locked, and Magma-Man desperately pounds on it with the butt of his rifle. "Hey, let us in!" A voice is heard inside. "Mags?" The door is opened and Ebon Shadowshot as well as 900bv are revealed. "We can't control this thing! You designed it to only work with your voice pattern." Magma then says, "Oh yeah, that was a stupid idea. Okay, here we go, Scooter: Eat Pudding!" "THAT'S the password?" "Yup" "You idiot. Oh God no!" The four look forward as the train flies off the rails and plunges itself into Bioshock Wiki. They fly through the beautiful Columbia skies, before Songbird flies in front of them and gets smacked as the train starts to fall, right into the darkness of the ocean. Chapter 3 - Wrong Destination *Player 2: Ebon Shadowshot *Location: Bioshock Wiki "Big Brony is BACK BABY! HA HA HA!" A bronified Big Daddy starts running towards where the train crashed into the underwater city of Rapture. "LOVE AND TOLERANCE, BITCHES!" A large hand then grabs him out of no where. "Hey wait, stop, what are you doing? No! Ahhhh!" It yells as he is thrown out of the room. The monster that threw him turns around to face Magma-Man and Shadowshot. It's Songbird, dead, but now with glowing blue eyes, because it is a now a zombie. It lets out a warped version of it's screech, and Magma-Man then asks, "Where'd Redskin and 900bv go?" At which point he then sees 900bv and Redskin running out of the area before the way out collapses behind them trapping Magma-Man and Shadowshot inside screaming "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" ' Boss Battle: Zombie Songbird' Daniel is heard laughing as some of his Warbots fly down just outside the windows of the area. "That thing is under MY control now. SONGBIRD! KILL MAGMA-MAN!" The Warbots attached themselves to the windows and start teleporting several Nazi Zombies into the area to run after Magma-Man and Shadowshot. "May Ken Levine have mercy on you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Songbird screeches and starts picking up debris and throwing it at the players while a health bar shows up. The only way to damage Songbird is to shoot it in the eye. Once this is done enough, Songbird will let out a warped screech, gripping it's head in agony, before then punching a fist right through the wall of the large room, allowing some water to pour in. It then flys up and over the side of the room the players were in. "Run!" Shadowshot shouts. The players then have to reach the other side of the room before Songbird slams down on them with another warped screech. The warbots then reappear, this time teleporting Terrorantulas, which crawl on the walls and ceiling to reach the players and pounce on them.. Once again Songbird will throw debris at the players, and they will have to shoot it's eye enough to wittle it's health down. Now it will also sometimes let out an extra screech that will blind the players temporarily. Once the players damage Songbird enough, it will yet again let out a screech and then fly up, right through the ceiling, causing the entire area to flood with water. Songbird then flies right back into the now completely flooded area, Magma-Man and Shadowshot surviving and still being able to shoot because it's a Wiki not a real place. The rest of the fight is now under-water. Warbots now attack the players directly and Songbird also now has melee attacks where it will dive towards the players to try and smash into them. When Songbird's health is completely gone, it will make one final attack that ends up shoving Magma-Man and Shadowshot down a current, and luckily to an escape pod thingy that they then use to escape to the sound of Daniel swearing and shouting in frustration. Chapter 4 - Offense *Player 2: DeadRaiser *Location: Call of Duty Fan Fiction Wiki The pod emerges in an enclosed area. Magma-Man and Shadowshot get out, gasping for breath and are greeted by Section and Weejoh-. "Hey, I know you, your that Mega-Man guy!" Section says. "Where are we?" Shadowshot asks. "The Call of Duty Fan Fiction Wiki, and you are just in time. Prepare to fight." DeadRaiser then walks in. "The place has been taken over by Smith's bots and the zombies. We here at the Call of Duty Fan Fiction Wiki have a policy though, the world's gone to hell, and if we are going out we aren't doing it without a fight. Smith isn't going to enjoy his hold on the place for long and you're going to help." Magma-Man then speaks, "Brave words coming from the one that let Smith get control of NZP in the first place." "You forget that you only left me and 900bv to defend it. We could fend off an army. Until now. Speaking of which where is 900bv? Ah it's unimportant. Bumblebee, you ready?" DeadRaiser walks out of the area while Magma-Man and Shadowshot follow. All the residents of the Call of Duty Fan Fiction Wiki are lined up and loaded with weaponry, as well as any survivors from neighboring Wikis. DeadRaiser hands Shadowshot a sniper rifle, "Shadowshot, you're going with Section to cover our asses with sniper support. You're with me, Mags." DeadRaiser leads Magma-Man to two tanks. "What are those blades on the front for?" "Making zombie stew." They both climb into their own tank, and get rolling. Daniel Smith then speaks. "I know you're there, Magma-Fuck. You can't hide from me!" As the tanks start to role forward the other Wikians let out war cries and run out to fight. A large amount of Nazi Zombies run at the tanks but get grinded by the shredders. "Hey!" Magma-Man shouts over the noise. "This Wiki's close to NZP right? If we can get back there and take out Daniel, his whole army is gone. We can end this!" DeadRaiser then responds. "Done. I'll lead us to it. LET'S FINISH THIS!" "Oorah!" Bumblebee chimes in on the radio. The players fight through Call of Duty Wiki in their tanks armed with flamethrowers and machine guns, fighting floating warbots, Panzersoldats, grinding up hundreds of zombies, and occasionally dealing with Terrorantulas that Shadowshot and Section take care of. Eventually, Songbird returns. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Kill that fucker, bitch!" Daniel laughs. Before Songbird can attack the tanks though he ends up getting shot at repeatedly by Shadowshot and Section. "God damn it, take out those Shadowshot and his merry band of twats, bird!" Section is heard on the radio, "Oh, shit." They both get attacked and fall off the roof they are on. "Shadowshot? Section? Come in? Darn it, keep moving forward!" DeadRaiser says. After a while (this chapter is around thirty minutes long and is very open) the two players reach the end of the Wiki to where the entrance to NZP is. Songbird screeches and swoops down in front of NZP to stop them. The two have to keep evading the debris that Songbird continues to throw at them, before ramming straight into Songbird, perhaps killing it, to get to NZP. "Okay, let's finish this. You coming Dead?" "Sorry Mags, my place is here now. I have confidence in you. Good luck!" DeadRaiser then drives off before Magma-Man can remind him that taking out Daniel would stop the entire army. Shadowshot luckily shows up just in time though. "Ah, Ebon, let's go asshole hunting!" Chapter 5 - Archangel *Player 2: Ebon Shadowshot *Location: Nazi Zombies Plus "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!" Daniel shrieks as Magma-Man and Shadowshot once again step into the Nazi Zombies Plus Wiki. They stare up at the giant robot from Origins walking off in the distance, which evidently Daniel was inside. "Well, let's do this!" Magma-Man says as he grabs a Ray Gun Mark II and MG-42 while handing Shadowshot another Ray Gun Mark II and an LSAT. They also both drink Speed Cola, Double-Tap, and Juggurnaut and climb onto the tank from Origins to ride their way towards Smith. "Wait! You forgot the most important part!" Magma-Man yells as Shadowshot is about to start the tank. "What?" "The song!" The tank gets rolling as Daniel sends everything he can at the players. As hundreds of zombies, Terrorantulas, Panzer Soldats, flying Warbots, and walker bots, among other canon and fanon NZP creations, all assault the tank at once as it slowly putts along the way. "Can't this piece of garbage go any faster!?" They make full use of their perks defending themselves. Daniel continues to shout discouragement. "YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME MAGS!? LOOK AT ME! I'M IN A GIANT MOTHA' FUCKIN' ROBOT! I ALREADY WIN!" "You forget Daniel those robots can do nothing but walk around and be useless! Oh yeah you have a PS3. How's that extra month of waiting serving ya?" "Fuck... well at least I upgraded!" Magma-Man and Shadowshot then find giant missiles getting launched from the robot and flying towards them at an alarming...ly slow speed. They get shot and destroyed long before they reach the tank by the players. "Maybe you should have designed faster and smaller rockets!" Daniel just continues to rage and swear. Eventually they finally get close to Daniel's robot, at which point he triumphantly points out he intends to step on them. As soon as the robot foot goes over the players, time is slowed, so that the players can immediately shoot up at the foot, opening it to allow them passage. Then, with one mighty stomp of the metal giant's foot, Magma-Man and Shadowshot are in. "NO, YOU'VE ALREADY LOST FUCKER DON'T YOU GET IT!? OW GET OFF ME YOU QUEER!" Daniel yells as Shadowshot tackles him. Magma-Man then walks over to him. "You're finished Daniel! Once your removed NZP will be mine, and those bots are going to be used to rebuild Wikia. We've won!" Daniel then starts to cry, until the wall of the robot explodes. Shadowshot is thrown off Daniel and pushed into the far side of the bot by the force of the explosion, and they see giant Nyan Cats floating outside the robot. A large figure gets out and walks in with a mostly mechanical body, then his head is revealed, and it's wearing Ghosts's mask. "Ghost? What the fu-" Daniel is then silenced when he is violently grabbed and hoisted up in the air. "Yes, it is I, Ghost! The greatest character ever conceived, the character that was forsaken and forgotten, left for dead. I understand you have control of an army, Smith. I want it." Daniel then lets out his usual swear-word filled insult. "Oh, don't fret, I have ways of making you co-operate. Wikia's days are numbered..." But then Ghost sees Magma-Man. "Oh hello there, little one. Are you lost? allow me to give you a lift!" Ghost then grabs Magma-Man and holds him over the edge of the robot's head. "We'll never lose to you," Magma-Man chokes out. "And why is that?" "Because how could we against such a bland and uninteresting piece of garbage?" "FUCK YOU! You wouldn't know good writing if I shoved it up your ass. Would you believe the next game even has me in the name but I'm still not in it!? How could they!?" "Well, you are a skin in multiplayer if you pre-order from Gamestop..." "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Cyber-Ghost yells as he throws Magma-Man off the ledge. Shadowshot grabs Cyber-Ghost and tries to knife him, but the knife only clangs off of the metal cybernetic body. Ghost laughs, grabs Shadowshot, and flips him over right off the edge as well. "Come Daniel, we have to have a chat." TO BE CONTINUED Hope you enjoyed, any feedback appreciated. Look for the full blog releasing early 2014 "when it's ready!" Category:Blog posts